Team Fat Paddler is a growing organisation of paddlers under one banner who take on challenges – charity challenges, personal challenges, and even some silly challenges. Officers of Team Fat Paddler earn their commission through continued participation in such events – the more events they are a part of, the higher their rank.
Team Fat Paddler Officer List – Men & Women of Honour, Humour & Humility
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Rear Admiral Sean Smith RADM (Sydney, Australia) HC09, BB10, KK10, PP10, HC10, WD11, KK11, BB11, PFTP11, HC11, SS12, BB12, KK12 Sean is the original Fat Paddler and loves sausages, paddling near cliffs and time with his girls. He spends a fair bit of time on, in and on occasion, under the water! |
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Commodore Paul Grummett CDRE (Sydney, Australia) HC09, KK10, PP10, HC10, KK11, BB11, PFTP11, HC11, BB12, KK12 Grumm is one of a handful of Brit paddlers in the team and loves wine, rudders and boats that can turn. As the second highest ranking officer, he is expected to lead by example. Especially at the pub. |
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Commodore Alan Jones CDRE (Sydney, Australia) KK10, WD11, KK11, BB11, PFTP11, HC11, SS12, WD12, BB12, KK12 The BigYahu is a big man with a big fast boat. He loves nothing more than paddling alongside his team members – unless it’s a race that is. In which case he’ll be 30mins ahead of everyone else. |
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Captain Nat Bradford CAPT (Sydney, Australia) KK11, BB11, PFTP11, PP11, HC11, SS12, BB12, KK12 Has followed the Fat Paddler into danger many times before – first on the rugby field, and now on the water. Is the Propaganda Officer for the team and loves his ocean ski. |
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Commander Angelo Vassiliades CMDR (Europe) HC10, WD10, BB11, PFTP11, SS12, BB12, KK12 Gelo is the poster boy for the team. Loves all things Greek but has a habit of destroying himself during events. Rumour has it he now has a bionic shoulder after the Warrior Dash “incident”. |
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Commander Brett Burns CMDR (Sydney, Australia) AHC09, AHC10, BB11, HC11, SS12, BB12, KK12 Burnsie is an ex-Navy chef and the official chef of Team Fat Paddler. Has produced outstanding meals during events including lamb sausages and Canadian pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. |
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Lieutenant Commander Ned Stephenson LCDR (Hunter Valley, Australia) HC09, KK10, KK11, HC11 The mad country scientist. Has more degrees than a compass and is still studying for another. When he’s not down a coal mine, he’s pushing his barge “Kraken” through waves. |
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Lieutenant Commander Nathan Lane LCDR (Hunter Valley, Australia) PFTP11, HC11, WW12, KK12 Nathan is the baby of the crew. But what he lacks in wisdom, he amply makes up with youthful mischief. Riding his green Zegul like a kid on a new bike, we’re all looking forward to tipping him out a lot. |
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Lieutenant Mike Stelzer LEUT (Sydney, Australia) PFTP11, HC11, KK12 Mike, otherwise known as Inspector Gadget, is the logistics specialist in the team. No matter what you need, for any task, at any time of day, just ask Mike. He’ll reach into a pocket and produce the perfect gadget for the task! |
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Sub-Lieutenant Sacha Ward SBLT (United Kingdom) AKK10, AHC10 Once the most beautiful member of Team Fat Paddler, has never recovered from being relegated to second place behind Gelo. Produces amazing event video and has been known to at least attempt paddling. |
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Sub-Lieutenant Simon Lewer SBLT (Sydney, Australia) KK11, HC11 Simon is an International Man of Mystery. We don’t even know his real name – if he told us, he’d have to kill us. All we know is that sometimes he appears, before mysteriously disappearing soon after. |
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Sub-Lieutenant Meg Thornton SBLT (Sydney, Australia) SS12, BB12 As the first Aussie female active paddling member of TFP, Meg has been superb at fitting into the team. She races, she falls out, she drops her kayak and breaks it… and all whilst having a good laugh! |
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Sub-Lieutenant Dave Mogan SBLT (Sydney, Australia) SS12 When the Mogo isn’t jet-setting around the world setting up television infrastructure at international motor sports events, he’s drifting around Sydney Harbour on a kayak. When he’s not falling off that is. |
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Midshipman Travis Frenay MIDN (Robertson, Australia) HC11 Trav is the canoeists canoeist. With over twenty years paddling, portaging and exploring the outdoors, Trav is the perfect Scout and handy to have onboard for any outdoors mission. He also owns Paddle & Portage Canoes, importers of awesome Wenonah canoes. |
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Midshipman Steve Johnston MIDN (Thunder Bay, Canada) COD11 Steve is an avid canoe and kayak paddler, roller extraordinaire and Therapeutic Recreationist who spends much, if not all, of his free time on the water and in the wilderness. When he’s not paddling or working, you will find him blogging or Facebook-ing about it. |
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Midshipwoman Samantha Tombolan MIDN (Thunder Bay, Canada) COD11 Sammy is the first ever female member of Team Fat Paddler. As a teacher she enjoys her summers off to explore the waterways of Northern Ontario. During her downtime between paddles, she can usually be found with her head in a book or training for the next marathon. |
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Midshipman Ben Loiterton MIDN (Adelaide, Australia) PP11 Ben is our first South Aussie member of Team Fat Paddler. He’s an Intensive Care Paramedic whose work history includes Marine Biologist, Infantry in the Australian Army and kitchen grunt at Sizzler with TFP team-mate Nat. Ben dreams of doing the Classic and paddling the Murray River. |
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Midshipman Pete Corbet MIDN (Geelong, Australia) HC11 Pete is a mysterious agent doing shady things at discreet hidden compounds across the country-side. Some say he is developing a prototype military-spec ski for the government, whilst others say he is “interrogating” puppy-farm owners in the fight against animal cruelty. |
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Midshipman Darryl King MIDN (Brisbane, Australia) HC09 Dazza is the token Kiwi in the team. He loves rugby, building websites and sarcasm, and we can’t wait for the inevitable All Black RWC choke so we have another four years of teasing. |
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Midshipman Martyn Riddle MIDN (Sydney, Australia) SS12 The Riddler’s application for TFP was sealed with a video of the worst seal entry we’ve ever seen. Not only did he do it once, but twice, proving his credentials as enthusiastic but a little mad, a perfect combination! |
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Midshipman Brian Partridge MIDN (Adelaide, Australia) SS12 He loves skis, beers, and bbq. He works in the mines of WA. And he lives in the City of Serial Killers. If a love of beer and sausages didn’t sell him in, fear of being stuffed into barrels brought out the welcome mat. |
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Midshipman Ben Eagleston MIDN (Sydney, Australia) KK12 Ben is a truly big man paddling his way to success. A long term Groupie of TFP, Ben’s persistence with his campaign to join Team Fat Paddler culminated in a formal invitation being issued at the 2012 Kayak for Kids. We expect big things from Ben… literally! |
Participating Events
KK12 – Lifestart Kayak for Kids 2012 (Sydney, Australia)
BB12 – Bridge to Beach 2012 (Sydney, Australia)
WD12 – Warrior Dash 2012 (Sydney, Australia)
FIC12 – Four Island Classic (Adelaide, Australia)
SS12 – Summer Series (Sydney, Australia)
HC11 – Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2011 (Sydney, Australia)
PP11 – Paddle for Pete 2011 (Sydney, Australia)
COD11 – Conquer the Dog (Ontario, Canada)
PFTP11 – Paddle for the Planet 2011
BB11 – Bridge to Beach 2011 (Sydney, Australia)
KK11 – Lifestart Kayak for Kids 2011 (Sydney, Australia)
WD11 – Warrior Dash 2011 (Sydney, Australia)
HC10- Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2010 (Sydney, Australia)
PP10 – Paddle for Pete 2010 (Sydney, Australia)
KK10 – Lifestart Kayak for Kids 2010 (Sydney, Australia)
BB10 – Bridge to Beach 2010 (Sydney, Australia)
HC09 – Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2009 (Sydney, Australia)
Commission Structure (Rank by events participated in)
0 – Seaman/Seawoman (SMN)
1 – Midshipman (MIDN)
2 – Sub Lieutenant (SBLT)
3 – Lieutenant (LEUT)
4/5 – Lieutenant Commander (LCDR)
6/7 – Commander (CMDR)
8/9 – Captain (CAPT)
10/11/12 – Commodore (CDRE)
13/14/15 – Rear Admiral (RADM)
16/17/18 – Vice Admiral (VADM)
19+ – Admiral (ADML)
20 – Admiral of the Fleet (can only be one current serving)
First time author and hefty paddler worrying about attracting sharks to his fat injured seal-like profile. 
Nice looking crew… But you need to send Gelo out to recruit some women for the team… Using his “Blue Steel” of course!!!
I agree, it’s weird that no women have stepped forward to join the team. Then again, women don’t usually like to associate with the word “fat”! Still, having some women officers would be a good way to balance the team…. any takers out there??
Great job and you know I’d take a fat step forward to join your team if I lived there, maybe we’ll have to initiate some FP international events! There is a satellite Team Fat Paddler crew here in Thunder Bay just waiting to participate ( when the snow goes and rivers and lakes open)
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Chris, that would be great! Find an event or charity to support, put your TFP chapter together and contact me for official endorsement. Yay!
Any other internationals keen to join??
Finally, I’m an officer (I was already a gentleman). Now, carry me in your arms across the factory floor…
Keep dreaming Sunshine!
Yummy saucerages? Canadian pansnakes with bacon and maple syrup? Coaching by the likes of Captain Kuk and Helen Wilson? You mates sure are livin’ large down under! Perhaps that’s why you’re known as Team Fat Paddler.
Mate I forgot how much i enjoy being out on the water
Will have to get out again soon.
PS the rougher the better loved it in the big swell
Great outfit you’ve got there, FP. Looking forward to seeing one of you become Admiral of the Fleet. Will there be a suitably decorative uniform for such a lofty position?
I expect to see no less than an Armada. Take advantage of the power of G+ Hangouts for your strategy sessions.