Team Fat Paddler representing in Ontario, Canada (MIDN Steve, MIDN Sammy)
On a hot Canadian Summer’s day (you heard me, HOT!), two Canadian members of Team Fat Paddler stepped up to the plate to achieve a number of firsts. This was the first time a woman had represented TFP (go Midshipwoman Sammy!), the first time TFP had competed in an officially sanctioned event outside of Australia, the first time Canadians had represented TFP, and the first time Midshipman Steve had ever competed in any sort of race, ever!
And so it was that Steve and Sammy arrived at the 13th Annual “Conquer the Dog” triathlon at Kaministiquia Ontario, on the Dog River. This would be a team event comprising a 5km paddle, an 18km bike ride and a 5km run – both Sammy and Steve would take on the paddle (fastest time counts), followed by Steve on the cycle leg and Sammy bringing up the finale in the running leg.
Brace yourself Canada, Team Fat Paddler has arrived!
Sammy registering with a bemused organiser - "You're Team Fat WHO??"
The event shaped up to be a cracker, with over 120 competitors, 44 of them kids, lining up under the 24C degree sunshine. Steve and Sammy carried their boats down to the water and settled in at the start amongst the myriad of other boats, with many craning their necks at the strange Greenland paddles that Team Fat Padder were using. Then the race was go, with a quick downriver 2.5km to start followed by a final 2.5km upriver run into the wind.
Sammy lines up, her pink kayak perfectly matching her pink Fat Paddler cap
Steve in the middle of the pack for the downwind section.
Of the two TFP paddlers, Steve was the fastest going into the race. He’d also not slept the night before, as he’d been awash in nervous tension having never raced in any event before. As the race started he took an early lead but quickly slipped back into the pack as the rest of the paddlers got going. Sammy was following not far behind but a building cramp was playing havoc with her paddling, and she was glad that Steve was going strong. At the half way mark, the paddlers turned and commenced the more difficult leg against the current and wind. These are the sort of conditions that Greenland paddlers love and Steve soon found himself building up pace and passing other paddlers. By the time he got to the end, he’d set a great time of 36:19 minutes to set up the next leg of the race, and brought a rousing cheer from the crowd as crossing the finish line, he popped his skirt and did a backflip out of the boat to disembark!
Steve, having finished the paddle leg, sets off on the 18km bike ride
Running on adrenaline and nervous energy, Steve took off on the bike leg and blitzed the first 500metres. Then suddenly he realised that this legs were starting to burn and he still had another 17.5km to go! Working through the exhaustion and dehydration, he pushed himself hard to the finish with a time of 46:22 minutes. Then, with a spirited but somewhat embarrassing lunge, he thrust the timing band into Sammy’s hand before promptly collapsing into a crumpled heap before her.
Steve pushing himself hard during the bike leg. Go Team Fat Peddler!
There was no time for sympathy however as Sammy took off on the loose gravel road. The run comprised three decent hills before turning back to do them all over again, and Sammy concentrated hard on not slipping over on the loose surface. Sammy pushed through her earlier cramps and the stifling heat to come flying into the finish to the rousing cheers of the crowd, having set a great time of 31:38.
Sammy pushing on through to the end of the triathlon
Waiting at the finish was the somewhat-recovered Steve, who promptly pounced on Sammy giving her a celebratory hug. The two relished the event, from the honour of representing Team Fat Paddler to the achievement of their officer ranks AND the news that they’d placed Second in the mixed team category! To celebrate in true Fat Paddler styles, they moved onto the Kaministiquia Community Centre to smash a few hamburgers and hotdogs whilst reliving the stories of that day.
Sharing some Team Fat Paddler love at the finish line!
Seriously dude, I'm starving now! I want a hotdog THIS BIG!!!
All up an awesome event and a great way to kick off the international membership of the team. From all of us in Team Fat Paddler we’d like to send you both a big congrats and welcome to the team!! Cheers – FP
(Photo credits: Chris Johnston)
Tags: Canada, Conquer The Dog, Team Fat Paddler
Team Fat Paddler going Global with its latest team members
The five principles of Team Fat Paddler (Adventure, Charity, Friendship, Tolerance, Humour) are values that easily translate anywhere in the world. With that in mind, it was only a matter of time before the team expanded its membership around the globe, especially as existing members stretch outward to foreign lands. So it is with great excitement that I announce a number of firsts for Team Fat Paddler with the following appointments:
Seaman Steve Johnston (Thunder Bay, Canada)
Steve is the quintessential Canadian all-round paddler. He loves both wilderness trips in the canoe and Greenland rolling in his kayak, and spends most of his time on or in the water. I had the pleasure of spending time with Steve back in January and was taken by his humour, compassion, charitable disposition and general passion for water sports. When it came to Team Fat Paddlers first overseas appointment, Steve was on top of the list. Congrats mate, and welcome to the Team!
Thunder Bay paddler Steve with FP earlier in 2011
Seawoman Sam Tombolan (Thunder Bay, Canada)
I also met Sammy when in Canada last, as she learnt to roll at a Helen Wilson pool session I was at. She was a natural in the boat and had a cutting sense of humour that had me laughing all the time! She is a teacher by day but loves to spend her spare time buried in a book or by spending time on the water or on the snow (she is Canadian after all!). I think I’m going to nickname her “Quarter”, as in “Quarter of a Fat Paddler” – haha! Either way, she has the honour of being the first female member of the Team and we welcome her feminine influence on a very blokey club!
Team Fat Paddler's first female member, Sammy from Thunder Bay Canada
Seaman Ben Loiterton (Adelaide, Australia)
Ben is an old mate of mine and an even older friend of Team Fat Paddler’s Propaganda Officer Nat. Ben has spent the past nine years as an intensive care paramedic (astounding he hasn’t worked on me come to think of it!), was with the Fisheries Department before that and even spent a few years in the Australian Army painted in camo colours and wielding a Steyr rifle! Ben loves to rock garden around the cliffs of Second Valley and Waitpinga to the south of Adelaide in South Australia, wants to take on the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic someday and has a dream to paddle the entire length of the great Murray River. Ben is a top bloke and we welcome him warmly to the Team.
Adelaide paddler Ben - ex-army, ex-Marine Biologist, current Paramedic. Handy!
What do we look for in candidates for Team Fat Paddler?
I’ve been asked a few times now how to join. As a rule we approach people that we know and think make a good fit with the team, which generally means we’ve had a few paddles and the odd egg & bacon roll with them already. With international members that can be hard of course, but we will want to get to know you online first before accepting you as a candidate. Once on the team we have a few expectations – that you will respect our five core values, that you will find paddling charity events to represent the Team at, and that you will wear the Team Fat Paddler logo with pride. And of course, that you accept our quirky sense of humour and love of fun! If you think that sounds like you, feel free to drop me an email and let me know that you’re interested.
Congrats to the all the members of Team Fat Paddler both far and close. Cheers – FP
Tags: Team Fat Paddler
The great Hawkesbury River system - a beautiful place to train
It’s amazing that 6 months have already passed since Team Fat Paddler last competed in the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic. In 2009 we had one man on the water, in 2010 we had two, and for 2011 we already have eight paddlers confirmed. As a two-event “veteran” I feel confident about what the event involves, but at least half of this year’s team are “Classic Virgins” and are already thinking seriously about training and preparation.
Three TFP Classic Virgins - Cmdr Grumm, Lt. Cmdr Alan and Midshipman Nat
Despite my desire for less distance and more “fun”, the members of Team Fat Paddler insisted on a flat water training paddle to get a few kilometres under their belts. With that in mind we met at Bobbin Head around 6.30, a rabble of different boat sizes, shapes and colours brightening up the shore as we prepared to set-off.
Seaman Nathan and Lt. Cmdr Alan get ready to set-out through the fog
Midshipman Simon gives the thumbs up to head off
And they're off! Well, the fast ones anyway - haha!
Within minutes the seven paddlers formed three distinct groups – Midshipman Nat, Lt. Cmdr Alan and Cmdr Grumm in their rockets took off first, powering ahead to an early lead. Midshipman Simon and Seaman Nathan held the middle of the pack, whilst Lt. Ned remained at the back of the pack with me in the canoe, acting as sweeps at the rear. And so the paddle continued for ten kilometres until we arrived at Little Jerusalem Beach, the fast team securing the beach-head before the slower paddlers made their way to land.
The advance party secures the beach prior to the landing of the Team Fat Paddler flagship
With the beach secure, Capt FP was able to safely bring the flagship into shore
Team Fat Paddler set-up a lunch-camp on the beach
With the beach secure and camp set-up, there was really only one thing left to do – put the sausages on the Trangia for lunch. With the pan sizzling and the smell of cooking sausages in the air, the lads laughed and joked with each other and generally enjoyed each others company. Then when the cooking was done, sausage sangers were handed out to all and we enjoyed lunch surrounded by the beautiful bushland of the Ku-Ring-Gai National Park.
Oh yeah, bring on the slightly blackened sausages!
With lunch done we cleaned up the area and packed our gear away, making sure the beach was left as we found it. Team members had a few turns in each others boats for a bit of fun for a while, before preparing to set-off for the final run back to the start. At this point we were joined on the beach by a random paddler Russ, who lamented the fact he’d come too late for the sausages – haha! We gave him our commiserations before setting off back into the river.
Lt. Ned greases himself up with lube before trying to squeeze into Seaman Nathan's Zegul 550
Russ, trying to smile despite his bitter disappointment at missing out on a hotdog
The fast group decided to make a run in the next bay, the “real” Jerusalem Beach, adding an additional 5-10kms to their paddle. The rest of us set-off on the return run at a more leisurely pace, playing in the boat wake and gas-bagging all the way back. We were finally joined with two kilometres to go by the faster guys who surfed a yacht’s boat wake for several minutes to give them a boost of speed. Then with a final burst of energy we all raced our way back over the final km or so.
I get asked a lot about how to train for the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic, which is ironic considering the type of paddler I am. But for the begginners I’d say just get out and paddle each week, and slowly work your way up to some distance. You don’t need to do 50km each week, a good 10-15km most weeks with a few 20-30km paddles thrown in here and there will do you well enough to get through the event. Of course the serious athletes train much harder than that, but then clearly this website isn’t about that! Regardless, anyone can do the Classic with a little training under their belt, so if you are thinking of doing it in 2011 I’d love to see you out there on the water. Cheers – FP
Lt Cmdr Jones gets ready for the Bridge to Beach paddle/swim event - haha!
Team Fat Paddler started gathering at Blues Point a little after 5.30am. After the wettest April day in about 20 years the day before, the skies looked remarkably clear and the waters calm. A sure sign that the weather was going to turn nasty!
Once all six paddlers arrived the car shuffle began – unload boats, drive to Manly, park cars, return via Sydney Harbour Kayaks to pick up more boats, and then return to Blues Point with 20 minutes to spare.
Lt Burns makes a long awaited return to the paddle. 20mths in fact!
With ten minutes to go paddlers rushed the foreshore to make their way down the single set of stairs to the water. With it being high-tide there was no beach to speak of, so numerous paddlers fell into the drink as they tried various styles of floating mounts for their craft. Those of us with plastic boats simply lowered them over the side of the sea wall and jumped in after them, getting a bit wet in the process but managing to get away through the pack and out to the start line near the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Lt Gelo posing for the ladies as usual. He was insistent on this particular angle
As the racing skis and kayaks jostled for position the gun fired and we were off. Ski paddlers like Sub-Lt Bradford and fast kayakers like Lt Cmdr Jones raced away from the slower kayakers like myself, but I enjoyed the view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge as I bounced around in the chopped up water.
My concentration was broken by a noise off to starboard. A ski paddler was stationary in the water staring at his paddle in disbelief – his expensive carbon fibre paddle had literally just snapped mid stroke! I had a spare Greenland paddle on deck but knowing no ski paddler would be caught dead racing with one, we organised for Lt Burnsie to hand over the H2O euro to the ski racer, before accepting my spare GP for himself. With a thanks the paddler raced away, promising to return the paddle at the end.
I turned back towards the race, now in the last section of the pack. But somewhere off to my port bow Cmdr Grumm was also having problems. Out of control, his boat veered off to one side cutting off another paddler who promptly rammed Grumm’s boat, tipping him in. As I watched him flounder I couldn’t believe it – we hadn’t even made it to the official starting line (the Bridge) and already he was swimming!
A few of the lads at the start, mere minutes before Grumm fell in.
I turned my kayak around and paddled over to him. The Surf Lifesaving zodiac had also come up behind him and attempted to steady his boat as he managed some sort of barely-graceful paddle-float re-entry. Once he caught his breath, he grabbed his pump and over the next few minutes, emptied the water out of his boat.
Once finished Grumm was away, racing off in his fast boat as I was left to face the fact I was now in dead last position. Lt’s Gelo and Burnsie were now 500 metres ahead of me and I faced the task of trying to catch up. Over the next four kilometres I paddled hard, passing a few dozen slower paddlers and stopping occasionally to help paddlers who had fallen off their boats. I finally caught Burnsie as he rounded Bradley’s Head where we stopped for a quick drink. From then on the water became really choppy and difficult, as wind chop hit us beam on whilst ferry wake and rebound took us from all other sides. As we paddled on towards Middle Head we came across more and more swimming paddlers, with many of the ski brigade having never paddled anything but flat water. This was no doubt going to be a tough day at the office for them!
When we finally made it to Middle Head the ocean swell coming through the Heads was massive. Towering waves were smashing the south side of North Head sending plumes of spray hundreds of feet into the air. As Burnsie and I struggled in the massive swell, we came across a now familiar site – Grumm being helped back into his boat by the Surf Lifesaver zodiac crew. Burnsie kept going on his course as I veered over to where Grumm was struggling. As I arrived, the zodiac crew were turning him around to face the right direction (that boat of his really needs a rudder!!). Then with a push he set off, taking no more than two strokes before slowly toppling sideways, a guttural expletive exploding out across the water as he rolled in.
The lifesavers had more problems to contend with, with paddlers falling out all about us. Promising to return, they sped away to help other paddlers as I steadied Grumms boat against the waves. We chatted casually about how tough it was and Grumm explained something about a foot-pedal failing, making it impossible to brace. With his boat now barely functional, he’d made the decision to throw in the towel and get a tow back.
When the clubbies returned they hauled Grumm and his boat onto the zodiac and were then away, leaving me again at the back of the pack to deal with the remaining few kilometres. Ordinarily this would have been fine, but the southerly swell was getting worse the closer to Manly I paddled, and the now huge waves were starting to scare me as I attempted to paddle parallel to them. With some waves jacking up to almost breaking point, I fought in my kayak against a constant feeling of tipping, at times flying over the crests of the waves so fast I actually got airborne, landing with a slap on the back of the waves.
After battling the huge swell for 30 minutes or so it slowly started to decrease and I was able to start catching the odd reasonable sized runner or two. I was exhausted from all the bracing and my hips and legs were screaming at me, but riding the swell was helping me to get closer to the finish. Finally, catching a little surf on a baby wave, I slid up onto the beach at Manly and wandered the last 150metres up the beach to the finish line.
Two thirds of Team Fat Paddler at the end. Three of us had stayed dry - haha!
Once I caught up with the boys I got a further update on how the race had gone. Both Lt Cmdr Jones and Sub Lt Bradford had gone swimming like Cmdr Grumm, meaning all paddlers in composite boats had fallen out. All the Tupperware riders, myself included, had managed to stay in our boats. It was a resounding win for the plastic platoon! In terms of placings, Sub Lt Bradford had come in first but Lt Cmdr Jones had been out-sprinted over the last twenty metres by a rampaging Lt Gelo, who was clearly already thinking about impressing the ladies at the finish line. Lt Burnsie had come in next followed by yours truly, with Grumm registering a DNF.
Breakfast of Champions. Coffee, egg & bacon McMuffins, and Belgian beer.
We gathered at the Belgian beer cafe for an event debrief when the paddler who we’d lent our H2O paddle to earlier turned up, insisting on buying us a round of beer for the help during the race. It was still quite early but we all agreed we’d earned the beer and with a table full of McDonalds breakfast and coffees, proceeded to tell our stories of giant waves and swimming. Clearly none of us had come anywhere near the times of the serious racers in the event but the Team Fat Paddler ethos is clearly about fun and bragging rights, and we indulged as best we could.
But the best stories of the day of course belonged to Cmdr Grumm, who’d come out three times and had to face the embarrassment of being towed to shore. To honour him, we decided to put together a (short) highlights reel of Grumm’s morning on the water. Enjoy! Cheers – FP.
Tags: Bridge to Beach, Bridge to Beach 2011, Grumm, Team Fat Paddler
Captain Kuk leads the way for some serious fun in Sydney Australia
Team Fat Paddler are all about fun and the lads were ecstatic about locking in a session with Tsunami Rangers Captain Jim Kakuk before he returned to his home in California. No-one knew what to expect but we all duly packed our helmets and took Jim out to some small rock gardens to see what we could find. What ensued was a brilliant few hours of watching, learning and playing! Full write up coming soon, but here’s a little video of our fun on the day. Thanks Kuk, and thanks Sydney Harbour Kayaks for your support on the day!
Cheers!! FP
Tags: Jim Kakuk, rock gardening, rock gardens, Team Fat Paddler, Tsunami Rangers, Video
